The coming of a new year.
It's inevitable, as the year ends and I reflect, I somehow only see my shortcomings. I don't think of myself as an overly pessimistic person, but there is something about New Year's Eve. There is something about December 31, that hits me hard, like a little gremlin with a mattock, picking away at my brain, set out to mine the dull crystals of self doubt, self criticism, and missed opportunities buried in there and bring them to the surface. Well, good job Gizmo, you found 'em.
2017 was, to say the least, a rough year. I won't even get into politics. Establishing myself in a new city, the 10 year anniversary of both my parents' passing, running a small business, and putting art out into the world. It was scary, exciting, sometimes really rewarding, and sometimes really lonely. Even after going through a long list of successes, I still felt a deep sadness inside. I still felt like I didn't belong somehow.
But I do belong. When I wiped my eyes, full of tears, and looked at my little family, Xavi and Jeff, and our home we've made. I felt loved, I felt like I was part of a team, and I felt supported. It's not always that easy to snap out of spiraling negative thoughts, but a little love goes a long way (cheesy, but true).
I think in the end, it's not about what you accomplished the prior year, how much money you've made, how many instagram followers you gained, or how badass the world thinks you are. It's about going into the new year with hope and a good support team, especially if someone on the team makes you coffee every morning, even when you're camping.
So if you're like me, SNAP OUT OF IT! It took a few days, but I'm pretty psyched on 2018. I look forward to trying new things, and evolving the business and myself. I'm excited to grow my support team, and happily will resume my role on the teams I'm a part of, maybe even try and make coffee more often... I look forward to travel to new places, meet new people, print more, and take lots of pictures (the four P's essential to life, I'd say Pizza is number 5). So raise of glass of water, wine, or whatever, here's to 2018!
Much love,
Courtney Leigh
